Eyebrows are literally the most harassed part of a girl’s body. Imagine your brows thinking, “Finally I have pulled through that nasty episode!” only to be pulled out mercilessly two weeks later!
If your brows could talk they would be probably screaming their heads off and gripping into your skin like “bloody hell, everyone, hold on!” while the parlour lady is raising hell with that sharp string.
Instead of planning a far-fetched gender equality laws, why don’t we begin the fight with the slogan that says, “girls have body hair too and that’s totally ok!”. Instead, we live in a society where it’s not cool for girls to have little bushy eyebrows and totally hot to have unrealistic baby skin. If you really think about it, isn’t it weird?
As much as we dread the visit to the parlour lady, I’m pretty sure every girl has thought these while sitting on that cold chair for about 10 minutes.
1 "Will I end up with a Charlie Puth eyebrow?"
Believe it or not, this is the fear that plagues me whenever I sit on that chair while she’s organizing the tools in her own sweet time. You know, all it takes is a slight wrong move and you’re perpetually stuck with a lame eyebrow! Pretty sure, you’ll be “we don’t talk anymore” to everyone who wants to see the source of your embarrassment.
2 "Which hand goes where?"
We’ve done it a hundred times. But are we ever sure where to put our hands? Make it a point to pull your skin tightly otherwise you’ll be wincing if your skin gets caught in the string... Did you just cringe?
3 "Why is she breathing so heavily?"
The parlor lady is so close by, you can literally feel her breath on your face. While you’re closing your eyes, the sensation is even heightened isn’t it? The worst thing is, you can’t do anything about it! You just have to feel the sensations of her breath in silence while a cheesy Bollywood song is playing on the background. Just don’t fall in love with your parlor lady after this!
4 "Why do I have to do this???"
Why indeed? This thought continuously hits my mind like a boomerang. Plus, we choose to fall into the fox’s trap of our own accord. We choose the pain for ourselves voluntarily. This makes the situation even more tricky than it already is.
5 "I hate this patriarchy!"
This thought hits right when you cross the pain-threshold. Exactly when she starts grazing the thread on the denser areas. Whom can you possibly blame? Not yourself, obviously. You love yourself too much to blame yourself, and you can’t hate the parlour lady. She’s simply doing her job! That leaves the patriarchy.
So, you rain down your wrath on the unjust society that lets men trim their hair without a single pain, while you feel the sharp prick of every hair that you remove from your body.
6 "Did I just pee a little?"
Now don’t lie. You have asked this to yourself at some point! The pain gets so bad that you have to literally hold your bladder.
7 "I will look like a Goddess after this."
After a lot of arguments in your head, there’s only one way you can hold yourself together. That is, by visualizing what you will look like after this painful ordeal. You imagine yourself looking as perfect as Gigi Hadid, strolling the streets in your perfect makeup and outfit, making heads turn. Admit it, this thought makes the pain a little bearable.
8 "Beauty is pain!"
Whoever said that beauty is pain should get a smack on the face and a little pat. Because firstly, it’s not true at all. You can look like a vision even in your sweats, (for your mom). Secondly, that pat is for making the pain bearable no matter how false the statement is.
9 "Don’t let her see your tears!"
By this time, you might be literally crying. When you have broken the skin around your eyebrows past it’s breaking point, there’s only one way your body knows how to react. That is by crying. But never let the enemy see your weakness. Hide them away and even if they flow like Niagara Falls, pretend they don’t exist. Smile!
10 "Her hands smell like food."
Out of nowhere, you suddenly get a whiff of food in her hands. Maybe it’s chicken curry, or rajma? For a fraction, it seems like the Gods devised just the perfect way to torture you. Reminding you of food while you are at your worst!
11 "It’s over...not yet"
Finally, right when you think it’s over and you’ve already taken that deep breath of relief, the parlor lady sweetly says, “oh there’s some stray hair right here”. Pretty sure, we’ve all felt like dying at this point. It’s like someone showing you a glimpse of heaven and suddenly dropping you in a pig shed.
12 "This feels like heaven."
The cold massage is the only bearable part of the whole experience. Her curry-smelling fingers on your eyebrows suddenly feel like the most pleasant thing in the universe since your birth. And you suddenly question if life has always been this beautiful.
13 "Never again!"
Yes, yes, we all promise that we will never fall into the fox’s trap again, but who are we lying to? The vision of Gigi Hadid flawlessly in the streets is too damn tempting.
Are your eyebrows on fire? Inflamed to the point of appearing pink as a bunny? Are you smiling through the pain? You deserve a big hug and love for being so brave!
What kind of thoughts do you have in your threading session?
SHARE if you think this is too damn accurate!