It doesn’t matter whether you’re an avid Sydney Sheldon reader or a dark Murakami lover. A bookworm is a bookworm. Like a sock is a sock, even after you make it into a sock bunny. (totally unrelated Friends reference).
I’ll be damned if you haven’t met these types of Bookworm once in your life.
1 The Hoarder
The Hoarder collects books like they are soon being shipped off to a deserted island forever. They have a mini library in their homes filled with a sea of careless emotional buys. They are like blackholes who will shamelessly order another 12 after they just indulged in 50 new purchases. Never trust them when they say, “this is the last one!”
2 The Procrastinator
If there’s one thing the procrastinator swears by, it’s “I will read it later”. However, that later turns out to be an ‘eternal-later’ till the end of times. They even ask you all kinds of book suggestions, all serious, as if this time they will finally start reading. But after a few days, that ‘later’ is still stiff as a rod.
3 The Sherlock Holmes
If Sherlock Holmes read books instead of murder-cases, he would be this kind of bookworm. This species lack basic survival skills and would need a Mrs. Hudson in their life but that doesn’t stop them from making accurate assumptions on how a book ends. Pure Talent.
4 The Not-so-humble Bragger
There’s always that someone who will continuously yap on about their conquests. These are the people who ’ll react like it’s a capital offense when they see your half-read Tolstoy on the corner of your bookshelf collecting dust. But who in the world has ever finished a Leo Tolstoy book?
They feed on your misery by constantly reminding you of your own inferiority.
5 The Emotional Wreck
This reader is always a little too attached with a book and its characters. On normal days, you can hear them casually slipping in imaginary characters into conversations. While on other days, you will find them drowning in a pool of their own tears, stating one of their characters didn’t make it.
You will find this species with a box of tissues and litres of ice cream to deal with all emotional rollercoasters they go through while reading their latest ‘best-book-ever’.
6 The Spoiler Brat
Reading way ahead of everyone seems to be in their forte, and spoiling key plotlines gives them a twisted sort of pleasure. This is that annoying person who told you about Jon Snow not being dead and that entire truth about Professor Snape way before you even reached the climax. If you’re the one and you’re silently reading this, you deserve to burn in wildfire! Dracarys!
7 The Self-Helper
You should take a peek into a Self-Helper's bookshelf because it looks more like a YouTube search history than a bookshelf. Chances are they are the ones who give you the best life advices and listen to all your troubles like a trained therapist. Reading fiction is a crime they will swear to have never committed. Dale Carnegie, Norman Vincent Peale, and Robin Sharma are their Gods.
8 The Catch-Me-If-You-Can
Sometimes lending a book is like throwing it into the Bermuda Triangle. Don’t expect them to ever come back, in fact, you can kiss them goodbye while you’re supposedly “lending” it. This is the prodigy of the borrower and lender that has plagued bookworms since the dawn of time. If you’re that borrower, drawing silent breaths while grasping into that blood tainted book, I SEE YOU!
9 The Jack Sparrow
The pirate is a book monger, who acquires possessions through unfair trade. Downloading illegal PDF’s off from the internet and never returning library books are engrained into their personality. You can bet that none of the books they possess have actually been bought with their blood and sweat.
10 The Old School Lover
The passionate collector is one of most hardcore bookworms out there. They own multiple copies of the same book- the hardbound, first editions, softcover, and celebratory editions. In fact, they don’t regard it as a waste of money or shelf space. They’d happily gaze at them multiple times a day as if it’s their life’s greatest achievements.
11 The Pro-Movie Goer
Movie aficionados turned bookies, these species of bookworms get a book just to find out what happens, after seeing the trailer or the first part/season of a movie. In fact, these people have made George R.R Martin rich just to find out who lives in Games of Thrones.
12 The Defender
The Defenders are ferocious protectors when it comes to their books. They will pat, stroke and hug their books once every day, use bookmarks and treat it like murder if someone makes dog’s ears. They are basically Smaug guarding the hoard in The Hobbit.
13 The Tortoise
These are the grandpa bookworms, who claim they love reading but do so as if they are reading on a walking stick, coughing and resting every so often. They manage to finish only about five books a year and probably do so by reading a page a day. It’s hard to fathom really because books are not on a limited battery.
Are you a bookworm? Did you find yourself in any these types?
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